I must withdraw my candidacy with regret!

With regret I will be withdrawing my candidacy for the position of Secretary General of the United Nations. Even though I believe I could do a splendid job, there are two much better qualified candidates that the United States should put forward immediately.

Someone always has to be second, and even though there is no disgrace in being a runner-up in a contest of this magnitude, I fear that my first candidate might be hurt by my arguments. The 'lesser' candidate of the two has incredible qualifications. And, even though he could only be out-shown by the magnificence of the other candidate, the United States could do a lot worse than having Al Gore named Secretary General! Let's face it, Al Gore has many wonderful qualifications that a diplomat requires. He is a consummate politician and diplomat having served our nation during the turbulent '90's. He has a singular gift for oratory. He is a pleasing fellow to look at, and Mr. Gore knows how to hold an audience enthralled during a speech. Mr. Gore has international recognition stemming from his years as Vice President and, his critically acclaimed movie on global warming. Gore has always been a champion of the down-trodden, just as out-going Secretary Kofi Annan has been - which could afford the United Nations a high degree of continuity in a very troubled world. In short, Al Gore has the "cache" and "gravitas" needed for this important international post.

With all due respect to Al Gore, I don't believe there is another person living today, who could better assume the post of Secretary General of the United Nations, than William Jefferson Clinton. I am unsure whether ex-President Clinton would be interested in the position, but I seriously question whether any other candidate would even consider running against him, if he "threw his hat into the ring." Consider it for one moment...picture Bill Clinton addressing the General Assembly. His impressive stature - his bearing - my God, it's incomparable to anything the U.N. has ever seen!

Can you imagine Bill Clinton traveling to any of the world's trouble spots? With his "weight-of-the-world-on-my-shoulders" look etched across his brow? No militants, no would-be terrorists would stand a chance... troubles would immediately cease! With one speech where he addressed the multitudes, all he'd need to do is raise his arms and speak the words...(listen for them) "I feel your pain," or bite on his lower lip while wiping away a tear. (Remember his heart-wrenching placement of stones on one of the Normandy beaches?) Problems solved, trouble over, "the great peacemaker of the world" has vanquished strife once again.

Best of all, the position should certainly appeal to our former President. The tenure is for an entire decade! None of this paltry 4 year stuff - 10 years of William Jefferson Clinton as Leader of the World Body. Ten years not only to add onto his American legacy...but more importantly, 10 full years to create an international legacy that would certainly anoint him the most important world-wide leader since ........., well, we should let history complete that thought!


"Don't stop thinking about tomorrow,
Don't stop - it'll soon be here!
It'll be better than before,
Yesterday's gone - yesterday's gone!"


Dum Spiro Spero