Tell Your Wife You're Saving Money!!!

I'll make this quick ... because I can't stand it anymore!

I want you to get in your car and leave the house for an hour at 1PM this afternoon. Tell your wife you have to run out for a few minutes there's something you simply have to do. (Don't worry she'll think it's a Valentines thing!)

Then, when you return, sit her down and happily explain that you've found the perfect classic car you've been searching for your whole life! It's a sky blue 1956 T-bird with wide whitewall tires. You found it with a private owner and have been negotiating a deal with him since yesterday. Here are the specifics......

• at first, the owner told you he wanted $82,700.
• but then he said he just had to put in a new Edelbrock super V-8 engine, and that raised the price to $90,800.
• but since he liked you and he wanted "his baby" to go to a loving home he was going to part with her for $78,000! Just because he liked you!
• THIS IS WHERE YOU POINT OUT TO YOUR WIFE THAT BECAUSE OF YOUR SHREWD NEGOTIATING SKILLS YOU ACTUALLY SAVED $4,700 OFF THE ORIGINAL PRICE, AND OVER $12,800 OFF THE FINAL PRICE WITH THE NEW ENGINE!!!!!!!!

Couple of things to remember.......

• Before talking to your wife - make sure all the guns in the house are unloaded, and that all the knives are hidden.
• DUCK!!!! Because she will find something to throw at you!
• Change all the numbers in this column from thousands .....to BILLIONS of dollars. So that would make it.... $827,000,000,000.00 billion dollars for the House of Representatives Stimulus Bill. $908,000,000,000.00 for the first draft of the Senate Stimulus Bill. And $780,000,000,000.00 for the second draft of the Senate Stimulus Bill. (Look at all those pretty zero's!)

And just like the "idiot husbands" in my example ..... there are Republican and Liberal "schmucks" in Congress, going before television camera's trying to sell the American public that we're actually SAVING MONEY because we "cut" the Stimulus Plan to $780 BILLION dollars!!!!

That's $780,000,000,000.00 BILLION dollars !!!!!!!!

Let me give you that number "perspectively." Last week I told you that there are 1000 "millions" in a billion. OK? So let's pretend that each "chunk" of a million dollars is represented by one piece of 8.5" X 11" paper. So, 1000 pieces of paper would represent one billion dollars - got that? ...... In order to represent the amount of millions of dollars the Congress wants you and me to stimulate the government for you need 780,000 separate pieces of paper!!

Dear CONGRESS - Why not take a little while longer, and show the American Public LINE-BY-LINE what you're spending all this money on???? Or better yet, think about "how much money you're saving the tax payers" by NOT spending the money.

How about if"WE THE PEOPLE" grade you the Congress by how much STIMULUS money you DON'T spend???

Dum Spiro Spero!!!